All tagged lyme disease

When the Heart Speaks, Or that Time I was Falsely Accused of Racism

In the fall of 2017, I suffered from a few palpitations. I chalked it up to severe exhaustion from participating in the development of a new broadway-bound musical. There is no excuse for art that breeds this level of exhaustion, other than the promise of a bottom line I will never see.

A few weeks ago, in the midst of yet another broadway-hopeful musical, the palpitations came back. In those moments when “symptoms” appear, the ghosts of diseases past whisper “did you miss us?” While my heart pounds pitter-patter in my throat, I worry the fairy tale is over—Prince Charming was a beast all along who can never be loved, changed, cured, or remedied. Miracles do not happen. I will always be broken, and the disease never left at all. Just another set of lies I like to tell myself in moments of doubt.

Breaking Up With Illness, What Life Without Lyme is Really Like

Ten years ago, I was given a life sentence of Chronic Lyme Disease. It was horrifying and a relief all at once. Chronic illness conditions us to a mentality of stasis. What we are now is what we will always be. There is comfort in a reality of stasis. Without fear of the unknown, we can curl up in our little bubble of pills, supplements, brain fog, and heated blankets. It is safe here in the comfort of our distress.