All tagged health

When the Heart Speaks, Or that Time I was Falsely Accused of Racism

In the fall of 2017, I suffered from a few palpitations. I chalked it up to severe exhaustion from participating in the development of a new broadway-bound musical. There is no excuse for art that breeds this level of exhaustion, other than the promise of a bottom line I will never see.

A few weeks ago, in the midst of yet another broadway-hopeful musical, the palpitations came back. In those moments when “symptoms” appear, the ghosts of diseases past whisper “did you miss us?” While my heart pounds pitter-patter in my throat, I worry the fairy tale is over—Prince Charming was a beast all along who can never be loved, changed, cured, or remedied. Miracles do not happen. I will always be broken, and the disease never left at all. Just another set of lies I like to tell myself in moments of doubt.

18 Lessons I Learned in 2018

Last January 1st, I wrote myself a letter. It was part pep talk, part guidelines for 2018. I kept it in the back of my phone case, and in true Amy fashion didn’t look at it once all year. Looking at it now, I can’t say it all changed/came to fruition/magically appeared in a puff of smoke, but I will say there was progress on whatever this journey is. 2018 was a lot. It filled and drained my cup more times than I can count. But I think all in all, 2018 and I were good for each other.

2018 opened me up to analyzing communication, and how our experiences influence our perception.

Here’s what I learned. Don’t expect it to blow your mind, just maybe open your heart to another perspective.

Breaking Up With Illness, What Life Without Lyme is Really Like

Ten years ago, I was given a life sentence of Chronic Lyme Disease. It was horrifying and a relief all at once. Chronic illness conditions us to a mentality of stasis. What we are now is what we will always be. There is comfort in a reality of stasis. Without fear of the unknown, we can curl up in our little bubble of pills, supplements, brain fog, and heated blankets. It is safe here in the comfort of our distress.

The Oppression of Thought

I can't hear myself, if I don't have the chance to listen. 

I worry I’m too depressed to write.  Like a writer’s block in the form of a muzzle, straight jacket, and padded helmet, entirely impeding any sort of arrangement of words on a screen, page, Post-It or napkin crumpled in my car console.  When I take the Kaiser mental health quiz, which I highly encourage for any person looking for a laugh and the fastest diagnosis known to the internet, I question my first assessment. Am I too depressed, or are we all too depressed?  Rather than spiral an entire society into a deeper despair than this quiz can diagnose, I wonder if depression isn’t the problem at all?

How a Positive Mindset Impacts our Health

How can our thoughts affect our health so profoundly? This article explains it very well! In a nutshell, "Our emotions and experiences are essentially energy and they can be stored in the cellular memory of our bodies." This article from Psychology Today offers a more scientific explanation..."First, sympathetic fibers descend from the brain into both primary (bone marrow and thymus) and secondary (spleen and lymph nodes) lymphoid tissues (Felten & Felten, 1994). These fibers can release a wide variety of substances that influence immune responses by binding to receptors on white blood cells....there is direct evidence that stress-related immunosuppression can increase vulnerability to disease in animals". 

Finding Your Self, Finding Your Worth

Since college I have not lived in a single place for more than 11 months.  I moved between California and New York 4 times in the first 2 years after college, lived in New York City for a year, worked and lived in Massachusetts for a couple of summers and lived at home on Long Island with my parents for a year..  In June 2016 I decided to take a leap and move to Denver, CO where I knew 2 people and didn’t have any type of job lined up.  So why all the moving?  Jobs mostly.  Sometimes it was my choice to move and sometimes it wasn’t but I always thought that in order to move up you needed to keep moving.