Finding Your Self, Finding Your Worth
It’s so important to keep developing ourselves. To keep learning and growing. To know that we’re not alone.
This post comes from Gayle, in Denver CO, sharing her journey of finding self love, happiness, and intention through a big move.
Since college I have not lived in a single place for more than 11 months. I moved between California and New York 4 times in the first 2 years after college, lived in New York City for a year, worked and lived in Massachusetts for a couple of summers and lived at home on Long Island with my parents for a year.. In June 2016 I decided to take a leap and move to Denver, CO where I knew 2 people and didn’t have any type of job lined up. So why all the moving? Jobs mostly. Sometimes it was my choice to move and sometimes it wasn’t but I always thought that in order to move up you needed to keep moving.
Turns out you just need to like yourself.
But let me backtrack. The real beginning of finding out who I was started in the summer of 2016. I was at my heaviest weight and HATED how I looked. Granted – I was never one that had a lot of self-esteem to begin with but I had never been this heavy before either. I had a friend from college who became a coach through Beachbody and I decided to give it a shot. What did I have to lose?
At the end of the summer I moved back home to my parents; worked out every day and really focused on what and HOW MUCH I was eating. Slowly but surely the pounds and inches dropped while muscles grew. I was starting to feel really good and actually LIKED what I saw in the mirror! But I was still going through periods of depression. I didn’t have many friends on the island, I wasn’t doing a job I loved and I just didn’t know where my life was going.
I liked what I saw in the mirror but didn't know where my life was going.
In October of that year I had gone to visit a friend in Denver. I really liked it – it’s still a city but there are mountains so close. Plus even downtown, you can walk with your arms stretched out and not hit someone. That’s saying something. A week prior to me visiting another friend, from college, moved to Denver and we were able to spend a day together exploring. We kept in touch throughout the year and by March when I was at the end of my line – having just been rejected for a job I thought I was almost guaranteed, she was looking to move out of her current housing. That was it and I made the decision to move. Just like that. I went out to visit for 4 days and apartment hunt and moved on June 1. I never thought I was the type of person to move without a safety net. I was never one of those people. But when you can’t take anymore – it’s the most reasonable thing TO DO.
Denver is still a city, but there are mountains so close. Plus even downtown, you can walk with your arms stretched out and not hit someone.
While living at home and not getting the jobs I wanted, I was able to work on myself. I was able to learn to LIKE the way I look. I was able to learn that SO MUCH is mental. How we talk to ourselves, how we view ourselves is so much worse than whatever anyone else can say to us. I did A LOT of personal development and it’s so important to keep developing ourselves. To keep learning and growing. To know that we’re not alone.
When I got to Denver I was so happy. I didn’t have a job, I only knew 2 people but I was doing something for me. I was in control of what happened and what I did.
I didn’t have a job, I only knew 2 people but I was doing something for me.
1 week after moving, my roommate and I went out to celebrate (who doesn’t love a good reason to go out and drink on a Thursday?) and I met my now boyfriend. Yup – this ends with a boy. But what I might have failed to mention is that this is my first boyfriend. At 28. I don’t think I could have dated anyone earlier because I didn’t know how to date myself.
I didn’t know how to like myself, be confident, or know what true happiness was so how could I be with someone else?
As I type this my 1 year in Denver is Thursday, June 1. My roommate and I have renewed our lease for 8 more months, I recently bought my first car and I’m planning for the future. I still don’t know what I want to do in terms of a career (I have a job – just not my forever job!), but I’m happy. Weight and food will always be something I struggle with but I know my worth. I know I’M WORTH IT.
resides in Denver, CO, a transplant from Long Island, NY with pit stops in Berkeley, CA, Williamstown, MA and Brooklyn, NY. Gayle currently works as a Health and Wellness Coach helping people quit smoking tobacco, also working events on the side. She went to school for theatre and has worked as a production manager in summer stock, regional theatre, off-Broadway and Broadway. She has enjoyed working in new fields and getting to know many different people. Gayle loves a good meal, a good view and being with friends; she is continuing to learn how to love herself, and is looking forward to getting a cat.
Do you have a story of self discovery, wellness, adventure, or creating your intentional life? Want to share with The Blonde Wanderlust? Join my Facebook page, and shoot me an email @ firstname.lastname@example.org
Have you made a big move that others questioned, or found the perfect book or documentary to help your self love adventure? Tell us about it in the comments!