Where You Lead: Life after Gilmore Girls
Like so many, I spent the day after Thanksgiving binging Gilmore Girls A Year in the Life on Netflix. Weeks before, I spent two hours in line at an Oakland pop-up Luke's Diner, because I'm a die hard fan who will wait a millennia for a free cup of (good) coffee.
To say the Gilmore Girls revival left me with feelings is like saying I'm afraid of the dark--things just aren't that simple.
I distinctly remember watching the second episode of Gilmore Girls, sitting on the family room floor, sketching a life size medieval oven for my eight grade history project. To say I was a die-hard fan is an understatement. I mean, I was there, on campus the day Rory graduated from Yale. (Which was really USC).
They left my television at a rocky time. My future seemed as uncertain as Rory's--college put me on a career path, but there was no guarantee a life in the arts would lead anywhere. But, like Rory, I threw caution on the wind, said FU to the dudes in my life, and boarded they hypothetical bus to the Obama campaign. In reality it was just my car and a move to Berkeley, but the sentiments remained the same. This was it. Adulthood here I come.
Fast foward to the present, Thanksgiving 2016. The Gilmores and I have been apart for many years, their re-runs fueling my dark moments of loneliness and depression. The Donna Reed episode inspiring so many meals, while Rory's dark time of soul searching and boat stealing loomed in my mind, at least I'm not stealing yachts, I thought each time I reached a new embarrassing low.
But, more than anything, I wanted to know how the Gilmores and I changed in our time apart.
Turns out, we were equally surprised with our lives.
Rory's career is not what she expected--no one is really sure what she's been doing, but writing one great piece is about all she's got. Sometimes, I feel the same. I play pretend for a living, what do I really have to show for that? At least she's got her article on a menu.
Loreli is feeling the need for change, she's reached capacity with her business, and the state of her relationship. I've outgrown plenty of aspects of my life, yet can't seem to take steps to change any of them.
Emily, in some ways is fairing best--the loss of Richard forcing her to find herself, and ultimately live the live she's probably wanted for some time. Out with the DAR in with beach living. Plus she gets rid of a lot of stuff, and that's basically my number one daily goal.
The Gilmores remind me, it's okay to not know where you're going.
Rory never really had her shit together. Okay, maybe back in her Dean days she was focused, but once she hit college it was all over. Loreli, the Gilmore I've always identified with more, was always more driven--who knew she'd reach a point in which her dream was not enough?
So many days, I feel like I'm floundering, treading through the day to day, the ups and downs of chronic illness, the struggles of agism in the work place, the looming questions of is this enough? Is this what I'm meant to do? What's next? How will I ever know?
I guess, I was worried in our time a part the ladies would find their way, reaching their purpose, fulfilling their destiny, while I waited, hoping to catch up.
But, as it turns out, they're just as flawed as I am, finding their purpose, reimagining their careers, owning their lives. And knowing, feels pretty damn good. I will never be alone. They are just as flawed and real as I am, and I am grateful.
Thanks for the confidence boost, Stars Hollow. Until we meet again. I'll be the one with the bowl of coffee. Waiting.